Sovereignty of SeaWitch

Hi SeaWitch,
this is exactly what my brother-in-law observed when he owned a video rental shop in Toronto. In fact, I remember asking him how he came to a decision on what movies to buy that he could then rent to customers. His list of criteria matched yours.

It's incredible that people enjoy watching brainless crap.

zardoz says:

thats interesting ,
HOW about some commentary's
on movies like HOTEL RWANDA.

MAYBE it would help out to
advertise an older film based
on EVENT and NEWS of the week
or month, a friend of mine
does it in EKALI and seems to be generating interest, along with
the bashem-has boozem will travel stuff.


=== zardoz ===

Thanks for the funny (and informative) post. As always, well written and much appreciated.

Hey SeaWitch,

This post is currently #17 on reddit.com's hot list.

Which means you're famous in the Wbe 2.0/blogosphere/cool-connected world.

Hey, I'll take a copy of Hotel Rwanda. ;)

Frankly, I'm glad I don't have to hang out with any of your customers. Steven Seagal, really???? He isn't even an interesting action star. At least Jackie Chan has some style.

Our video rental place (ie. the one that happens to be closest to us here in Thessaloniki) does pretty well with the uncommon movies. Generally though, it seems most anything else ends up on Filmnet anyway, so I see it one way or another!

Sure-fire winner...

A cover with two half naked women clutching oscars as they're gunned down by Steven Segal.

Kirk, I believe there is room for only one Altrusian on this blog, and I am it.

That's good information, but do you have any suggestions for consumers? That way, when I'm walking around through the rental store, I can actually pick good movies.

For example, I've found a pretty strong correlation between the number of big smiles on the box cover and how good the movie is. If everyone on the cover has a broad smile (for example, Little Women), I can be fairly certain that the movie is just a "feel good, be happy movie" as opposed to one with an excellent plot. Movies with good plots always seem to have "determined-looking" faces or some range of emotion on the cover.

this is a great list. I've never realized Steven Segal was that popular.

franje...Even though many people would prefer to watch the brainless movies if left to their own devices, many of them have become converts once I convince to rent them the better movies. So I guess there's still hope. LOL

zardoz...We used to do a lot of in-store promotion on movies in the beginning but we eventually gave up because:
1. Customers would still ask us which movies we recommend even when we had a large list of recommended movies each week on the front counter and then after showing them 10 or so different movies, they'd end up choosing Steven Seagal anyway. LOL
2. We get fed up with them.

The only promotion that still works is rent two get one for free. I thought about doing some reviews on movies but then I always get sidetracked on my blog to something else. LOL

Scruff...I don't think the movie titles are poorly translated because they 'don't make sense in Greek'...I think it's because the movie companies just can't be bothered to come up with a good title. Most of the thriller movies have "tromou" in the title while most action movies have "dolofonou" in the title which makes searching for a movie in Greek very difficult. LOL The most bizarre movie title is Shawshank Redemption in Greek. It becomes "Rita Hayworth: The Last Exit."

john...Thanks john. I'm glad to see you keep reading. :-)

anon...Thanks for letting me know. I never even knew what reddit was until you posted. Do you think it's too presumptuous if I were to hire a publicist for my newfound fame? LOL

Mel...Come to my stores and I will definitely rent you Hotel Rwanda for free. As for Steven, it was a surprise to me too that people still watch his Latvian/Italian/Romanian produced movies. Same with Van Damme. Whenever he makes a movie, people will still rent it over here.

infinytis...For the most part, customers can usually find a watchable movie if they stick to renting their favourite actors although even that can backfire. Your best bet is to find a store with rental clerks who have similar tastes to yours and ask them.

paul...Steven Seagal's popularity is just as puzzling to me. And the worst thing is when customers come up to me holding a copy of one of his movies and then say "this one's got to be good, huh?" to which I always respond "If you're a Steven Seagal fan, you won't be disappointed." This seems to make them happy and I don't have to lie to them. LOL

I could never get over that they changed "Die hard with a vengeance" to Die hard - MEGA HARD" in Danish. It makes NO sense whatsoever.

I never understood the popularity of Seagal. He's one of the most uncharismatic and wooden "actors" i have ever seen. The first time I saw him running in a scene I almost choked on my tea!

Rita Hayworth: The Last Exit is just terrible. I think the Shaweshank Redemption lost out at the Oscars merely because of it's name. It's one of the best pieces of cinema ever made and lost because it had an unwieldy title that sounded goofy.

Up until the beginning of last December I owned a video store in Southern California (sold it, thank the fates). Unfortunately your statements are very nearly a universal truth. Every week I would order between 10 and 16 new releases, and usually at least half of the titles would be foreign/indy/art-house movies. The crap pumped out by Hollywood would out-rent the good stuff by at least 10 to 1.

The thing that was always the most frustrating for me is constantly hearing "I don't want to read a movie", even from well educated professional types. Most customers will rent the latest mindless garbage from Hollywood instead of that great new Japanese film or the moving story from Chad, this is just a fact of the video business. The irony is that all too many people that rented crap were unhappy with the result and fairly often voiced their displeasure to me and my staff. We'll gee, sorry about that. Maybe you should have rented 3-Iron (Korea) as I suggested.

The problem, in my opinion, is television and the global culture that has grown from the last 50 years of capitalism's "instant total gratification" ethos. People have become not only physically but intellectually lazy. In general, consumers do not want entertainment that requires any amount of effort no matter how rewarding the effort may be in the end.

Sad but true.

Well, Hollywood must be doing something right then. Just as an industry type stated in a BBC interview I heard on 104.4 a few months ago, "If other countries want their films want to compete with Hollywood, maybe increase the quality of their special effects (i.e.., spend more money), and maybe Hollywood would be forced to respond with better quality films". For example, the Turks just spent 10.5 Million dollars on Valley of the Wolves, sort of a Turkish RAMBO flick with the American military as the bad guys. This may just be a good example if it hits it off in the states when it is shown there.

Another example of the foreign community making something better by exceeding the best: Our USA Dream (nightmare) Basketball team. No one would deny that Jordan and the boys from the first team were hot stuff, but the latest pile of turd they sent to Athens just made us look foolish as a nation. Each Olympics after the first one where NBA boys played, the foreign teams kept getting better and better. In China, it will be a true test to see if International basketball has surpassed the USA and it was not just a fluke.

Sorry for a bit off post at the end.

To close it up neatly, I'll say that although I found the English Patient quite moving, most people I know in the states found it quite a "snorer" of a movie.

anon...I do agree that people have become intellectually lazy...or maybe they always were and we've just noticed it. It's a bit ironic though considering that through the Internet and global media, you'd think they'd want to see what's going on in other parts of the world...taste a bit of the world without ever leaving your sofa. I think universally, people just like what they're used to. It's the same reason why North Americans ask where McDonalds is before they'll try out the local cuisine. They find comfort in familiarity.

Larry...I don't think Hollywood's power comes from special effect. It comes from PR, marketing and hype. Many foreign films ARE better than American ones but they just don't have the budget or are media savvy enough to promote their movies on the scale Hollywood does. Some of the best action movies are coming out of France IMO. The fight scenes are more original, the plots a bit more creative and stylish with much better stunts. Check out Banlieue 13, any of the Taxi movies (Luc Besson's...the American version was crap) and 36, Quai des Orfevres.

Great list Witchy Poo. Once again, the old marketing cliche proves true:

Appeal to the lowest common denominator.

Oops. Seawitch...that last post was mine. I forgot to sign off on it.

HRH QUEEN BEE

None of this movies will rake a single Euro in my old age pension ward. My pensioners do swoon on movies like " Blood and Sand" tyronne Power, Rita Hayworth. "Vera Cruz" Gary Cooper, Burt Lancaster. "Carmen" Rita Hayworth, Glen Ford. "Samson and Delilah" Victor Mature, Heidi Lamar. "For whom the Bells toll" Gary Cooper, Ana Paxinou, Akim Tamiroff, Ingrid Bergman."The great Caruso" Mario Lanza.

This is exactly why every city needs at least one "alternative/artsy" video store, like la boite noire in Montreal. Stores like this gather all the indie / foreign / cult / classic / experimental / obscure / quality / non-oscar award winning films together in one building, so the small minority of us who do like good movies know where to go when, at every video store we've hit asking for, say, the collected works of Maya Deren, we are met with blank stares. As far as I know, Athens doesn't have such a store. So what do you say, Seawitch? I see a good business venture here... I, for one, will be your first and loyal customer!!!

Yeah, Thessaloniki could use an independant rental place for sure. I can only find blockbuster type stuff. There are a lot of classic movies I would love to watch, but I can't find them.
On another movie note, I love that Greek newspapers give away DVDs, but I do find it creates an interesting situation. Whenever I am hanging out with friends and we want to watch a movie, everyone has the EXACT same collection.

Many, many, MANY of the movies awarded by Sundance, etc, are movies from mediocre and giant-egos directors and actors. Such movies are sometimes awful. Some of them are sponsored by the government of their respective countries, which I find ABSURD. E.g. I am from Brazil, and I DO NOT WANT my taxes' money wasted on stupid movies.

Really, i think Steven Seagal is one of the all time top action movies' actor. I hope he'll keep on making movies.