Sovereignty of SeaWitch

Back in the day, when I was single and an active player in the dating game, there was always one kind of guy I would never date. In fact, this was the kind of guy 99.9% of single women would never date. Who was he?

The guy who lived at home with his mama.

Even an unemployed, high-school dropout who lived in a rooming house and rode the bus to nightclubs had a better chance at securing a date than the Mama's Boy would. If a man who was over the age of 25 and still lived with his parents, you basically assumed he was socially retarded or a serial murderer (or both) and therefore, had to be avoided like the Plague. It didn't matter if he was good-looking, drove a nice car, had a good job and had the best manners...if he lived with his parents, he was dating poison.

The rationale amongst us single girls was that living with your parents made you dependent, lazy and weak. The last thing you need in a potential boyfriend was someone who needed to ask his Mom if he could stay out past midnight or clear it with his Dad so he could bring a girl home. You just couldn't help but get a visual image of either:

In Greece, however, it's quite the norm if a man as old as 30 still lives with his parents. He's not even ashamed to admit it. Single Greek women don't seem the least bit bothered by his living arrangements. Most Greek men have never lived on their own until the day they get married. They've never even paid a phone/electricity/water bill on their own let alone know where to pay them.

In their defence, the cost of living is quite high in cities like Athens and Thessaloniki where it's not uncommon for a rented studio apartment and related expenses to absorb an entire paycheque. But surely, couldn't they find a roommate to share the costs like many single men have done in order to have some semblance of independence?

There are 30 year-olds and even 40 year-olds who don't even have one bill in their name in order to get a membership card in our stores. They're all in their parents' names. In fact, if they have overdue movies, their mothers will come into pay for them pleading with me for lenience because their 35 year-old "Giannaki" (Little John) didn't have the time to come in himself. Have they no shame whatsoever?

Just because mothers cook, clean and wash their clothes for them is not reason enough to forsake their personal independence and opt for the laziness that parental roommates afford them.

Many of them will cite the comfort and high cost of living as reasons they aren't motivated to live independently. But for me, there comes a time when those reasons become nothing more than convenient excuses.

I know I must sound like a broken record because I'm writing once again about the quality of Greek education but it's a subject of real importance to me. Marietta Giannakou, the Minister of Education, seems to be a capable politician so I'm hoping that during her tenure as Education Minister, things will actually change in the school system.

Since the beginning of the school year, my son has missed quite a bit of school for many reasons which are beyond his control. He hasn't missed one day of school because he was sick or even faking sickness.

In September, on his first day back from school, he had a substitute teacher for a week because his regular teacher got married and took the first week off school. (A 3 month summer break and the teacher decides to take an extra week off to get married on the first week of the new school year?? )This is the same teacher who drilled into his students' heads last year that there was no acceptable excuse to miss school unless they were too sick. At least once a month, his class has a substitute teacher and while she is a teacher, he tells me that she can't teach much other than the religion class and language. Yesterday, she gave them a two-hour break to play soccer. The day before, he didn't have school because of the strikes.

He's missed at least 3 days due to class trips. Now, I wouldn't mind these trips if they were visiting museums, archaelogical sites or musical concerts. But all of them, bar none, have been to the cinema and theatre to see movies and plays that were more suitable for 6 year olds, not 12 year olds. Each of these trips cost about 8€.

For Oxi Day in October and the commemoration of the Polytechnic uprising in November, students spent several days each time preparing for them. Lessons are scaled back each time so they can practice marching in the parade for Oxi Day and learning songs and poems for November 17. For the last 10 school days, lessons have been scaled back again to prepare for the Christmas party.

When you factor in teachers in-service days along with strike days, I figure that my son has missed, at the very least, one week of lessons every month...and it's not even the end of December!

Both my husband and I have tried to bring up the subject in the Parents'-School Association meetings but that was just a forum for two parents who were hell-bent on removing cellular phone antennaes within the vicinity of the school. None of the parents who did show up did not seem the least bit concerned with discussing the quality of education their children were receiving. When I talked to two of my son's teachers about the manner of teaching and the educational value of the field trips, they both said I should talk to the Parents' Association and see if any other parents felt the same way.

Public education is not free. Our taxes pay for the schools and books. In order to supplement the the lessons he lacks at school, I pay (like most Greek parents) for computer/music/language and athletic lessons in private learning institutes. If this situation continues when he goes to junior high school next year, I will most likely be paying for additional science/history and language classes as well. Once that happens, I fear his interest in learning will subside and I may not be able to afford it all anyway if the economy continues its downward spiral. Friends of mine send their children to private schools but I'm not sure that's the solution either since they are so expensive and the pressure on these children to bring home good marks is unbelievable.

Since our children are now competing in a global job market, I simply cannot leave his education solely in the hands of the State. How long will it take the State to actually initiate change instead of dialogue in our public schools? Employment options for our children are disappearing with every day they spend discussing the situation.

Every year, I'm getting better at celebrating Christmas in Greece. My tree goes up the first Sunday in December, I can actually locate all my ornaments and all my Christmas CDs have their own section in the CD jukebox. I've even shopped for a few Christmas presents. All in all, I'd say I've got the whole Christmas thing under control. Not like my first Christmas here.

That was probably my worst Christmas ever. I had no snow, no tree, no Christmas decorations, not to mention the fact that my knowledge of the Greek language was just enough to get me in trouble and my driving licence wasn't valid in Greece. Every simple task seemed gargantuan. I had totally underestimated celebrating Christmas in Greece.

The Tree
My mother-in-law decided to help me out by giving me her tree since she was going to Austria to spend her Christmas holidays. When my husband brought the tree home along with the decorations that went with it, my friend and I decorated it. She kept telling me how beautiful Dimitra's tree was on display at her house and how lucky I was that she gave it to me. But when we finished decorating, it looked nothing short of awful. The tree had a total of 8 needle-bare branches and the ornaments themselves were Ugly personified. My friend looked at me and said "What did you do to the tree? It never looked THIS bad before." I was crushed. How is it my mother-in-law, who would put Martha Stewart to shame with her home decor, could make such a sorry-looking tree look good with those ornaments. When my husband saw the tree he told me it was indeed ugly but not to worry about it because his mother would 'fix' it. How embarrassing. I come to a new country and I can't even decorate a tree. How was I going to survive? Luckily, my mother-in-law phoned later on that day and asked my husband how the tree looked. When he told her that she needed to come over help me make it look normal, she paused for a second and then said, "Which tree did you use?" He replied "what do you mean, "which tree"? I took the one you left by the door with the box of ornaments". She was horrified and said "you took the tree I left out for the garbage!" It turned out that the tree was a relic from the time the Reign of the Colonels in Greece. Now that the mystery was solved and my Christmas decorating skills were still intact, I immediately went out and bought a new tree with new ornaments that very evening rather than risk my husband finding another tree in a dumpster somewhere.

The Gifts
My husband told me not to worry about buying gifts for everyone since he would do that and it would take him a day. I thought he was exaggerating. Buying gifts for 20 people in under a day 2 days before Christmas? Impossible. But I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Big mistake. He came home with several ceramic picture frames with teddy bears on them and a bunch of 300 drachma (1 euro) Coca Cola can lighters. I wouldn't have given them to my worst enemy. To this day, he still doesn't see what was so bad about his 'gifts' which is why, to this day, I still won't let him out at Christmas time with money in his pocket. I did the Christmas shopping myself and incredibly, I didn't forget anyone.

Christmas Dinner
In Canada, I always had Christmas Dinner with my family so someone else always went through the trouble of cooking the turkey which was a good thing because I'm a vegetarian. In Greece, I was left to my own devices. I thought "how difficult can it be? I'll just buy a Butterball and be done with it." Famous last words. When my husband brought home the turkey from the local butcher, it still had FEATHERS on it and the giblets still inside!! There was no way I was going to touch it let alone stuff it...I would have been traumatized for life. Since it was already Christmas Eve, there was no alternative but to cook that poor creature. Our first big fight ensued. After a couple of hours bickering about who was going to prepare the turkey, we came to a compromise. I realized that there was no point getting a divorce over a dead bird. I would cook the stuffing and he would de-feather, de-giblet and stuff the turkey. Despite all the problems, the turkey turned out just fine and our marriage was saved...until New Year's Day.

New Year's Day
On New Year's Eve in Greece, many people play Eikosi Ena (21) a variant of blackjack for money. The game usually starts after midnight on Christmas Eve and finishes around daylight. On our first Christmas in Greece, we hosted the game at our house for all of our friends. My mother-in-law made the Vassilopita (a cake served on New Year's Eve with a coin (flouri) inside to bring good luck to the recipient.) Once the cake was cut, the game began and we played until 7:30am. I won about 75€ so I went to bed happy. I even woke up happy until my husband asked what I was making for the New Year's Dinner. Since I only had about 4 hours sleep in the last 2 days and the house looked like war zone, I reasoned that it would be better if we just ordered a pizza. (In my own defence, this is usually what we did in Canada on New Year's Eve since we usually partied all night long and the next day, my place would be occupied by the previous evening's party goers who were often too inebriated to drive home. )

The Turkey Fight was nothing compared to the New Year's Day Fight. My husband was not the least bit impressed with my pizza solution and what started out as a lecture on the importance of New Year's Day dinners in Greece culminated into complaints about my total disorganization during the holiday season. Since I figured I already did The Compromise for Christmas, it would be a cold day in Hades before I caved and started cooking a 5 course meal on a minute's notice. So out the door I went. I came back a few hours later and neither of us would talk to each other but we did have to eat so I fried some pork chops and boiled some rice and that was our New Year's Day dinner. Later on the evening and after I had checked out airfares back to Canada on travelocity.com, we ended up talking to each other. He realized he could have informed me about the tradition of a Greek New Year's Day meal and then we came to an agreement which we still keep to this day. I would always cook Christmas dinner using a featherless turkey of my choice and on New Year's Day, we would go to his mother's house so I didn't have to spend my entire holiday season cooking and cleaning. Unbeknownst to him, I also decided I would delete Travelocity on my list of bookmarks if I was going to make a go of it in my new country.

Since that horrendous Christmas, every holiday since then has gotten better and better each year...more fun and less fights. What a difference time makes.

There used to be a time that you could walk into a bank, present your account booklet to the teller and withdraw some of your paycheque to pay bills. It used to be that easy. Apparently, things have changed. Whether it's because of 9/11, November 17, anarchist's Molotov cocktails or just plain paranoia, one bank in Athens seems to have an unwritten dress code for their clients before they withdraw their own money.

About two weeks ago, the son of a friend of mine, Giorgo (not his real name) had just returned home from a short tour of duty in the Greek navy. Because he's a responsible person, he decided to go straight to his bank to withdraw money to pay the bills that had accumulated while he was away at sea. Although he is not a fashion icon wearing conspicuous name brand labels, he has never had a problem conducting his personal financial affairs wearing jeans and a t-shirt until two weeks ago. He walked into the Citibank branch he had been using for years and stood in line waiting to pay some bills and withdraw some money for household supplies. He was then asked to leave the lineup and accompany a security guard who had decided that he was a prime candidate for an interrogation. He demanded that my friend's son produce his ID card and state his reason for entering the bank. Giorgo provided the security guard with his ID card, bank passbook and stated his reason and was released back into the lineup once the guard scrutinized the documents before him and decided Giorgo was no longer a threat.

Giorgo believed that the only reason he caught the attention of the security guard was due to his casual clothes and the fact that he didn't shave that morning. He did not complain or create a scene but quietly submitted to the pop interrogation even though he was somewhat embarrassed to be questioned in front of so many other clients and bank staff.

If it were me, I would have produced all the evidence the security guard required and then I would have stood in front of the lineup and told all other clients that they better think twice about keeping their money in a bank where it has become necessary to treat people as criminals first and clients second. Then I would have withdrawn every cent I had in the bank and closed my accounts.

I do realize that banks have been the target of bombs, robberies and vandals over the years but if it's that dangerous for them to open their doors to the public, then maybe it would be better for them to reconsider doing business in Greece altogether rather than subject the very people who keep them in business to humiliating interrogations. It has been my experience that bank robbers usually don't wait in lineups wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Their modus operandi is more likely to involve masks, guns and a mad dash to the tellers' booths. If people have to dress to the nines in order to enter a bank and avoid these checks, then maybe it's time to choose a safer bank. We mocked our grandparents who preferred to keep money in a sock under their mattresses. Considering the risks of banking today, maybe they were right all along.