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Wednesday, November 24, 2004 

The Blame Game

How to win the Blame Game. The rules are simple:
  1. A Blame Game participant is known as the Blamer. The person or entity receiving the blame is known as the Blamant.
  2. The object of the game is to accuse as many Blamants as possible without being disqualified.
  3. There are only 3 ways you can be disqualified:
    1) If you blame yourself.
    2) If you do not invent a plausible blamant. (ie., There is no paper in the fax machine. Blaming the cleaning lady is acceptable but blaming the Fax Fairies is not.)
    3. If you name a Blamant which can later be traced back to you thereby breaking rule 1 of blaming yourself. (ie., People have no money. The jews are to blame. You are a jew. You have just blamed yourself. Instant disqualification.)
  4. Use as many multiple blames as possible for maximum point value.
  5. All blames must have some degree of plausibility .
  6. The person with the highest point score wins the Blame Game.

To assist you in playing the Blame Game, listed below are several common Blame topics with Blamants listed. They may be used separately or combined for each topics. Some Blamants are multi-purpose meaning you can use them for more than one topic if you choose. Play to win since many Blame Game winners have achieved financial success and power within politics and religion.

Male Answers:
Women are working more. Women are promiscuous. Women did not work hard enough in the marriage.
Female Answers:
Men don't work enough. Men are promiscuous. Men don't pay alimony or child support. Men did not work hard enough in the marriage.

Other people drive too many cars. Corporations use too many chemicals. Other people don't recycle. Other people litter. (*Make sure the blame you use here does not get traced back to you...if you have a car or work for a chemical corporation, use the last two blames.)

The Jews own the banks. Other people don't work hard enough. There are too many immigrants. Too many tax breaks for Big Business.

Corporations are choked by high taxes and labour costs forcing jobs overseas. Too many immigrants steal jobs. (TIP: Immigration is a multi-purpose blame and can be used on many topics. "The only jobs available are manual labour"--this is not an acceptable blame if there are available jobs then you don't have an excuse for your unemployment.)

Too many immigrants in our country force us not to like them. Personal victimization stories (real or imagined) you have encountered by people at the receiving end of your racism are also acceptable. (TIP: Be careful not to admit being racist here, just concentrate on the blame. It's always good to start the blame with "I'm not racist but...")

Too many immigrants flood the job market and force salaries down. Lawyers, doctors, scientists, engineers make too much money leaving next to nothing for the pizza delivery drivers, fast food employees and retail clerks. (TIP: Do not EVER make a connection between education and higher salaries here because that's a blame which can be traced back to you.)

No intelligence required!
Hours of fun and entertainment for the whole world!
Blame your way to success and ignorant bliss NOW!